Are you deserving? Or even your pets deserve more than you?

Many of us don’t bother to ask for more, or to challenge our status quo, or to dream bigger because we don’t feel like we deserve it. We feel, at the core, that we are “wrong.”

When we feel “wrong” in speaking up or fulfilling a deep need, it’s because we are getting in touch with something that wasn’t accepted in us when we were younger, or in a past life. For example, when people who weren’t allowed to feel joy start feeling joy, it confuses them, and even makes them uncomfortable. That’s why we sabotage ourselves.

Today, get in touch with what feels wrong to you. Give yourself permission to feel right.
Another aspect of this “being wrong” or “being the wrong one” is that we put everyone’s need before ours.

I developed that characteristic over time.

Just a week ago I had two cats that I spent more money on their food than my own, spent more time worrying about their well-being than mine.

One cat, an abandoned male cat

SOURCE: click to continue reading Are you deserving? Or even your pets deserve more than you?

What is MY Tikkun?


As I said in my last blogpost, my 72-name is “Forget Thyself.”

In my “Your Soul’s Purpose” process it was worded this way “Bring The Divine to Everything.”

Two different wordings, neither of them made a difference, until today.

As I was reflecting on the last article I wrote, it occurred to me that one of my “unanswerable questions” is: “Am I smart enough?”

If a question is unanswerable, you want to know

SOURCE: click to continue reading What is MY Tikkun?

Satan? Ego? Useful or Faulty Design?

I have been observing myself as a spiritual practice. Trying to “remember myself” as Gurdjieff would say it, call upon the “witness” or “observer”. Be awake. Either way, I have noticed something remarkable about myself: see if you can relate.

When I am in front of my computer* (where I spend most of my day) and I encounter something that requires the slightest push on my end, I see myself automatically going to the computer game of my choice, freecell.

I began observing this phenomenon about 6 months ago (it was there, unobserved, for many years). But 4 days ago I decided to employ “restriction,” which is one of Kabbalah’s main tenets, and see what will happen.

For about 36 hours I closed the freecell program as soon as I opened it. Then every time I was “awake” which means I was by myself and I was still observing myself. On the other hand, every time I was on the phone, or watching a video on my computer, or listening to an audio file, my attention wasn’t on myself, and I played… until I “woke up.”

Still curious, more interested in the experiment than conquering the force that moves my hand, I saw something today that is worth sharing.

Since I have started this blog, I have been watching how I somehow leak the energy that is necessary for creative thinking and expression… by talking on the phone, by playing freecell.

Every occasion when I need the little push and I opt to play instead, two things happen: 1. I have diminished the internal discomfort 2. I have successfully diverted my attention from what is important to me.

The first one is good, right? Who would want to be uncomfortable, after all.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Satan? Ego? Useful or Faulty Design?

Satan? Ego? Useful or Faulty Design?

I have been observing myself as a spiritual practice. Trying to “remember myself” as Gurdjieff would say it, call upon the “witness” or “observer”. Be awake. Either way, I have noticed something remarkable about myself: see if you can relate.

When I am in front of my computer* (where I spend most of my day) and I encounter something that requires the slightest push on my end, I see myself automatically going to the computer game of my choice, freecell.

I began observing this phenomenon about 6 months ago (it was there, unobserved, for many years). But 4 days ago I decided to employ “restriction,” which is one of Kabbalah’s main tenets, and see what will happen.

For about 36 hours I closed the freecell program as soon as I opened it. Then every time I was “awake” which means I was by myself and I was still observing myself. On the other hand, every time I was on the phone, or watching a video on my computer, or listening to an audio file, my attention wasn’t on myself, and I played… until I “woke up.”

Still curious, more interested in the experiment than conquering the force that moves my hand, I saw something today that is worth sharing.

Since I have started this blog, I have been watching how I somehow leak the energy that is necessary for creative thinking and expression… by talking on the phone, by playing freecell.

Every occasion when I need the little push and I opt to play instead, two things happen: 1. I have diminished the internal discomfort 2. I have successfully diverted my attention from what is important to me.

The first one is good, right? Who would want to be uncomfortable, after all.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Satan? Ego? Useful or Faulty Design?

Stay Open In The Pain


Our spiritual work is to grow more connected to others around us. Our obstacle to building bridges to other people is stored hurt. Perceived or real… When we don’t resolve conflicts in our relationships, our lives can’t move forward.

Today, tell your boyfriend or boss or brother exactly what you want, what you feel, what you think. You are going to worry about what they will say or think. And honestly, that’s the work. Just expose yourself and be vulnerable. Ask the Light to give you the strength to stay open in the pain.

Your soul will love you for having the courage to speak up.

You see, pain is inevitable in life. No matter where or when you were born, your financial situation, your family situation, whether you are fat or thin, sick or healthy, loved or despised… pain is inevitable.

Mind you, suffering is optional… and while it is true, this is not

SOURCE: click to continue reading Stay Open In The Pain

Regrets, Resentments, and other vicious Life-Killers


Regrets, I’ve had a few … .How many of us are stuck in ruts because we cling to past slights, traumas, missed opportunities, and betrayals? The best way to let go and move forward is to acknowledge and accept those negative things you did (or had done to you) as steps on the path that brought you to where you need to be today.

Today, recall the pain of your past. Allow yourself to get to the point where you can accept that they were blessings; the perfect things that helped you build a new you. If you can release your grip on the anger, sadness, and regret, then it will be easier to spot the Light in the darkness. (quoted from daily kabbalah tuneup)
Interesting that this would come up just now.

I am working with a client/friend, let’s call her DD. She has been doing great. She has gotten in touch with the light in herself and her power to choose.

She is severely overweight and it’s effecting her overall health, but more than anything, her self image.

This past week she has gotten hungry twice while she was doing errands, and she didn’t give in to the temptation to get a quick supersized meal at the many fast food places on her way… instead she drove home and ate what she had planned to eat that day. Major victory.

The effect on her self esteem, self image was dramatic. She suddenly could see the light at the end of the tunnel, both in regards to regaining her health, and in regards to making a living, being a good parent, loving herself.

Her capacity to face what she didn’t like about herself increased to a point where

SOURCE: click to continue reading Regrets, Resentments, and other vicious Life-Killers

A Case Study in The Law of Attraction

In another blogpost on another blog I wrote about my last two years vs. my last four months “history”.

What I didn’t say in THAT blogpost on my recession blog, because it is ALL spiritual, is what happened in the last two weeks. It’s amazing, and it is probably the most important lesson one can learn about causing one’s life. (You may also want to refer back to my Live abundantly article

OK, here you go, here it goes.

Two years ago I bought a new laptop computer and gave my old one to my Kabbalah teacher, Naomi. It was a good computer, given from the heart.

A year ago I bought another laptop, but this time I held onto my now old one. But about six weeks ago Naomi told me that the old laptop was losing its monitor… it was slowly going blind. “OK,” I said, “I’ll give you my other laptop.”

I regretted saying that, the moment I said it. I need it, I want it…

SOURCE: click to continue reading A Case Study in The Law of Attraction

A Case Study in The Law of Attraction

In another blogpost on another blog I wrote about my last two years vs. my last four months “history”.

What I didn’t say in THAT blogpost on my recession blog, because it is ALL spiritual, is what happened in the last two weeks. It’s amazing, and it is probably the most important lesson one can learn about causing one’s life. (You may also want to refer back to my Live abundantly article

OK, here you go, here it goes.

Two years ago I bought a new laptop computer and gave my old one to my Kabbalah teacher, Naomi. It was a good computer, given from the heart.

A year ago I bought another laptop, but this time I held onto my now old one. But about six weeks ago Naomi told me that the old laptop was losing its monitor… it was slowly going blind. “OK,” I said, “I’ll give you my other laptop.”

I regretted saying that, the moment I said it. I need it, I want it…

SOURCE: click to continue reading A Case Study in The Law of Attraction

How to Live More Abundantly… a Jewish Story


One night, the Shah dressed up as a peasant to enjoy the evening air undisturbed by his rank, and to wander through the streets of his empire unnoticed. He walked through town and reached the poor section of town. The street was quiet, but suddenly he heard singing from a little cottage. As he peaked through the window he saw a man sitting at a table.

He was amazed that such a poor man would be in such good spirits. He knocked on the door and asked if he would be welcome to join the man as a guest. They ate and drank together. After the meal the Shah asked the man how he earned his living.

“I am a poor Jew, I fix shoes in the street, and with what I earn I sustain myself for that day.” answered the man.

“But what will be your fate if something happens to you or you get too old to work?”” asked the Shah.

“Oh I do not worry about that,” the man said happily. “I know God will provide.”

The Shah decided to test the faith of the poor man. The next day he issued a decree that forbidded anyone to fix shoes in the street. The Jew was stunned when he found out this new law, but he contemplated looking inward and said, “God, I am certain that you will provide.”

He looked around himself and saw a man with water jugs on his shoulders, and he saw that he can become a water carrier. So he hauled water from the town well, and sold enough to buy food for a day.

That evening, curious how the poor man made out, the Shah returned to the man’s house.

“How are you?” he asked upon entering. I came to see how you survived the new law.”

“God provided for me today,” the Jew answered happily. “One door closed, but God opened another. I am now a water carrier.”

The following day the Shah issued a new decree that carrying water for pay was not allowed. So the Jew spoke to God, and when he looked about him, he saw men going into the woods to cut trees for firewood. This he went with them and made enough for food for the day.

That night the Shah came again to check on the poor Jew. To test his faith more, the following day he ordered all wood cutters to the palace. When they arrived, with our poor Jew among them, he issued guard garb for them and a sword. They would be paid, but not until the end of the month. Our man was now really puzzled, for he had no food for one day,

SOURCE: click to continue reading How to Live More Abundantly… a Jewish Story

How to Live More Abundantly… a Jewish Story


One night, the Shah dressed up as a peasant to enjoy the evening air undisturbed by his rank, and to wander through the streets of his empire unnoticed. He walked through town and reached the poor section of town. The street was quiet, but suddenly he heard singing from a little cottage. As he peaked through the window he saw a man sitting at a table.

He was amazed that such a poor man would be in such good spirits. He knocked on the door and asked if he would be welcome to join the man as a guest. They ate and drank together. After the meal the Shah asked the man how he earned his living.

“I am a poor Jew, I fix shoes in the street, and with what I earn I sustain myself for that day.” answered the man.

“But what will be your fate if something happens to you or you get too old to work?”” asked the Shah.

“Oh I do not worry about that,” the man said happily. “I know God will provide.”

The Shah decided to test the faith of the poor man. The next day he issued a decree that forbidded anyone to fix shoes in the street. The Jew was stunned when he found out this new law, but he contemplated looking inward and said, “God, I am certain that you will provide.”

He looked around himself and saw a man with water jugs on his shoulders, and he saw that he can become a water carrier. So he hauled water from the town well, and sold enough to buy food for a day.

That evening, curious how the poor man made out, the Shah returned to the man’s house.

“How are you?” he asked upon entering. I came to see how you survived the new law.”

“God provided for me today,” the Jew answered happily. “One door closed, but God opened another. I am now a water carrier.”

The following day the Shah issued a new decree that carrying water for pay was not allowed. So the Jew spoke to God, and when he looked about him, he saw men going into the woods to cut trees for firewood. This he went with them and made enough for food for the day.

That night the Shah came again to check on the poor Jew. To test his faith more, the following day he ordered all wood cutters to the palace. When they arrived, with our poor Jew among them, he issued guard garb for them and a sword. They would be paid, but not until the end of the month. Our man was now really puzzled, for he had no food for one day,

SOURCE: click to continue reading How to Live More Abundantly… a Jewish Story