Last night I spent a lot of time looking at a deluge of memories of things I did that I am ashamed of

I just slashed my finger for the third time this morning. I will have a hard time muscle testing for a bit… Here is what happened:

Last night in bed I spent a lot of time looking at a deluge of memories of things I did that I am ashamed of.

They came, vividly, fast and furious, things I have long forgotten, things I am not proud of.

I resisted the temptation to explain them away, I resisted turning away. I resisted saying they are wrong.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Last night I spent a lot of time looking at a deluge of memories of things I did that I am ashamed of

The future you create with your words needs you to…

You create your future with your words… spoken or unspoken.

What is a future?

A future is not real… and yet it appears real. There is no past in reality and there is no future. Only the present moment, how things are.

The past lives in your memory, 80% is words, 20% is perception organs information. But even those 20% are “colored” by what you said about it.

I have had quite a few Irish clients who were disciplined by their parents, mostly the mother. It was a ritual. Pull down your pants, fetch the paddle or the ladle or the hairbrush for your mother… lie over her knees, and there you went. You knew what you did that didn’t meet your mother’s expectations of you.

I was beaten out of anger… and I never knew what I did wrong. Didn’t even guess.

SOURCE: click to continue reading The future you create with your words needs you to…

What is a soul correction and why should you care?

It seems that the body of a human is a vehicle for two “entities”, the Selfish Gene and the soul.

The Selfish Gene… that is only interested in preserving itself… the genetic material, even if and even while the family, the environment, the world is destroyed. Selfish gene is our physical nature, our lower self, and it is not very smart, has no foresight, none of the higher functions a human supposedly has. It has no interest even in the 160 spiritual capacities: in fact it considers them a nuisance, a hindrance. The Selfish gene is a brute.

The uncorrected soul, the soul you are born with, is the soul with an aberration. It has a behavior or a set of behaviors that are slanted towards ego.

The soul’s counterpart is the ego, not the Selfish Gene.

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You never know where your learning will come from

You never know where your learning will come from… bits and pieces

I put all the cash I had at hand, $25, in an envelope yesterday and wrote on it: to Frank the mailman. Today I found a Christmas card, the only one I got, from Frank the mailman, saying “Thank you for the gift.”

I cried. I am still crying. Big learning here… even though I don’t know what it is… Hopefully by the end of the article I will.

-o-o-o-

I just spent a few hours listening to really smart behavioral economists,

At the end, when they thought the microphone was already off, the interviewer and the interviewee said: “we should do this every day, we could get good at it.”

-o-o-o-

Then I watched the movie Two Popes… cried a lot. Identified with the two Catholic priests… surprised myself with that.

SOURCE: click to continue reading You never know where your learning will come from

Self-Punishment, Self-Punishing Behavior

This topic comes from a reader, thank you. Without her prompting I would have never looked there. It would have been a big missing.

I am going to share only what I really know, from my experience, not some theories of some big names, like Freud… I am giving you only Tree of Life.

In my experience, most people have self-punishment to some degree.

There are quite a few ways to get to guilt and shame, which is at the root of this behavior.
Self-punishment for doing something wrong, lack of self-discipline
One way is to do things that we know are wrong. We want it, desire it fervently, and then we do it. If the environment is unforgiving or we have even seen anyone punished, verbally or physically, we expect to be punished.

Desire for pleasure is like a two-sided coin (do you know a coin that is not two sided? lol). One side is the fulfillment of the want or desire for pleasure, the other side is always misery. Why? Because pleasure is momentary. It comes with a downside, and the downside is either guilt, or more desire plus guilt.

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I have been noticing a strong reluctance of people to find out the truth about themselves.

I have been noticing a strong reluctance of people to find out the truth about themselves.

When they do, they are relieved… so it is before… when they don’t know what’s wrong with them.

There is, there are signals that you are not in perfect alignment with who you would need to be to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be healthy, vigorous, the world is my oyster kind of guy or gal.

And you hate it, because it niggles away on you, like the thought of getting a C diagnosis from a doctor, the diagnosis of almost certain death.

So you procrastinate.

SOURCE: click to continue reading I have been noticing a strong reluctance of people to find out the truth about themselves.

Your soul correction and how you react to things… like being abandoned in a car as a child

One of the most interesting things to track is how much of the interpretation of an original incident depends on the person’s soul correction.

OK, let me explain: we come into the world with a supposedly blank slate… We don’t know anything, and we need to learn everything.

And yet, we seem to have a certain bend… as if humanity had sub-species…

Why? I don’t know. This is pretty much the only reason I think there is an Original Design… from where it comes, I have no idea. Maybe we ARE in a created world… a whole lot more sophisticated than what the Bible sets up…

Anyway, every person is born with a soul correction. It is not the soul that needs correction… it is the person. The soul is perfect… I think.

My soul correction is “Forget Thyself” and it is an attitude where I place myself above everyone… For me to ask for anything, anyone, anything, including Life, Source, etc. is DOING MY SOUL CORRECTION.

I don’t think the soul correction can be ever completed… it is like a slope in reality… it needs to be compensated for, no matter where you are on the evolutionary scale.

There are all kinds of other aspects to a human… the Zodiac, the Human Design… all come from the time and date of birth…

Why? I don’t know.

Now… to my topic for this article: similar incidents happen to many children: they find themselves abandoned.

It is their interpretation… or the truth… for a child 15 minutes that they didn’t know was going to happen feels like forever.

And not surprisingly, given what I just said before, a child interprets what happened differently, and reacts to it differently.

And then live their life out of that interpretation and the fix they invented… as if that were the only way to be.

I get daily emails from digg.com and some of my inspiration for the article come from there…

There was a photo article about dogs alone in cars… And the accompanying text by and about the photographer, saying:

“I don’t know when or where or for how long, possibly at the age of four, perhaps outside a supermarket, probably fifteen minutes only,” recounts Usborne. “The details don’t matter. The point is that I wondered if anyone would come back. The fear I felt was strong: in a child’s mind it is possible to be alone forever.”

While he went on to live a happy childhood despite this isolated experience, Usborne decided to revisit his fear of being alone and unheard in an evocative photo series titled The Silence of Dogs in Cars. Having a deep affinity for animals, he recreates the sentiment of abandonment that affects everyone, people and animals alike.

Now, I have students, relatives, myself, who had similar experiences.

1. Mine: I was abandoned, like everyone, in my imagination. My decision to “failing to be loved, failing to be wanted” was to be a “I’ll do it myself” person who will not even ask others to do thing, even if it is their job.

For example, my toilet is leaking. I a

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When something changes… what made it change?

What makes the difference? When something starts to work: what made it suddenly work? Do you know? Chances are: you don’t. And neither do so-called scientists. It is a guess… the guess that makes them seem right. We are wrong 99% of the time. Why?

We do the same thing when something doesn’t work. We guess why… and we are wrong 99% of the time. Why?

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Unwillingness masquerading as confusion, fear, and a host of other “symptoms”

I don’t wanna…! You can’t make me… Nooo!

We expect these reactions from children, but more than 50% of all soul corrections’ foundational issue is this unwillingness, this resistance.

If you remember, all soul corrections are, fundamentally, about restricting desire for the self alone (evil, negative energy).

Obviously, this resistance, this unwillingness is about you, and not something beyond you… What you are gaining from this behavior is only for you, and not for anyone else’s sake, and it serves only your lowest self… not anything else.

So we can say, safely, that it is one of the major enemies of you, personally, and us, humanity, become better, higher, a humanity of human beings… who don’t kill each other, don’t hate each other, who don’t use each other.

And because this unwillingness feels innocent, or it feels like procrastination, or it feels that it holds YOU back… you think that it is not evil… and that it is not mandatory for you to overcome it, if you want to feel good about yourself.

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Jacob’s Ladder: Learning is humbling. Learning says you didn’t know… Courage and humility are needed…

Learning is humbling. Especially humbling is learning about yourself, and learning about your need to change

Your Precious “I”, (whether you believe it or not, whether you know it or not, the precious “I” is in every single person,) and it wants to have and retain the self-image unchanged, the self-image that says you know everything. It wants to keep the self-image where it is superior. Where you are OK.
It is easier to see it on others than on yourself.
Every learning means that you, by necessity, that you didn’t know something.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Jacob’s Ladder: Learning is humbling. Learning says you didn’t know… Courage and humility are needed…