Reframing: What is your higher power?

Frame: Your higher power? ((Higher Power is a term coined in the 1930s in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and is used in other twelve-step programs. It is also sometimes referred to as a power greater than ourselves and is frequently abbreviated to HP. The term sometimes refers to a supreme being or deity, or some conception of God. Wikipedia

Finding Your Higher Power in Recovery- Getting Over Your Doubts. … Twelve step programs should encourage you to find your own conception of a higher power. For some this connection with a greater power can easily be present, because they come into recovery with a pre established faith or belief.))

Back in 1988 I had an emotional meltdown. I suddenly remembered things from my childhood.

I was suggested by someone in Landmark that it would be beneficial for me to join an ACOA group. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.

I did. I had clear signals that I belonged. #1 of the identifying features of ACOA people is “I don’t know who I am”. ((I pulled up the list and it wasn’t on it. But I saw myself belonging because of the “I don’t know who I am” and it worked. For me.

The Laundry List – 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
We became addicted to excitement.
We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

Tony A., 1978

Note: The Laundry List serves as the basis for The Problem statement.

The Flip Side of The Laundry List

We move out of isolation and are not unrealistically afraid of other people, even authority

figures.

We do not depend on others to tell us who we are.
We are not automatically frightened by angry people and no longer regard personal criticism as a threat.
We do not have a compulsive need to recreate abandonment.
We stop living life from the standpoint of victims and are not attracted by this trait in our important relationships.
We do not use enabling as a way to avoid looking at our own shortcomings.
We do not feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves.
We avoid emotional intoxication and choose workable relationships instead of constant

upset.

We are able to distinguish love from pity, and do not think “rescuing” people we “pity” is an act of love.
We come out of denial about our traumatic childhoods and regain the ability to feel and express our emotions.
We stop judging and condemning ourselves and discover a sense of self-worth.
We grow in independence and are no longer terrified of abandonment. We have interdependent relationships with healthy people, not dependent relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.
The characteristics of alcoholism and para-alcoholism we have internalized are identified, acknowledged, and removed.
We are actors, not reactors.

The Other Laundry List

To cover our fear of people and our dread of isolation we tragically become the very authority figures who frighten others and cause them to withdraw.
To avoid becoming enmeshed and entangled with other people and losing ourselves in the process, we become rigidly self-sufficient. We disdain the approval of others.
We frighten people with our anger and threat of belittling criticism.
We dominate others and abandon them before they can abandon us or we avoid relationships with dependent people altogether. To avoid being hurt, we isolate and dissociate and thereby abandon ourselves.
We live life from the standpoint of a victimizer, and are attracted to people we can manipulate and control in our important relationships.
We are irresponsible and self-centered. Our inflated sense of self-worth and self-importance prevents us from seeing our deficiencies and shortcomings.
We make others feel guilty when they attempt to assert themselves.
We inhibit our fear by staying deadened and numb.
We hate people who “play” the victim and beg to be rescued.
We deny that we’ve been hurt and are suppressing our emotions by the dramatic expression of “pseudo” feelings.
To protect ourselves from self punishment for failing to “save” the family we project our self-hate onto others and punish them instead.
We “manage” the massive amount of deprivation we feel, coming from abandonment within the home, by quickly letting go of relationships that threaten our “independence” (not too close).
We refuse to admit we’ve been affected by family dysfunction or that there was dysfunction in the home or that we have internalized any of the family’s destructive attitudes and behaviors.
We act as if we are nothing like the dependent people who raised us.

The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List

We face and resolve our fear of people and our dread of isolation and stop intimidating others with our power and position.
We realize the sanctuary we have built to protect the frightened and injured child within has become a prison and we become willing to risk moving out of isolation.
With our renewed sense of self-worth and self-esteem we realize it is no longer necessary to protect ourselves by intimidating others with contempt, ridicule and anger.
We accept and comfort the isolated and hurt inner child we have abandoned and disavowed and thereby end the need to act out our fears of enmeshment and abandonment with other people.
Because we are whole and complete we no longer try to control others through manipulation and force and bind them to us with fear in order to avoid feeling isolated and alone.
Through our in-depth inventory we discover our true identity as capable, worthwhile people. By asking to have our shortcomings removed we are freed from the burden of inferiority and grandiosity.
We support and encourage others in their efforts to be assertive.
We uncover, acknowledge and express our childhood fears and withdraw from emotional intoxication.
We have compassion for anyone who is trapped in the “drama triangle” and is desperately searching for a way out of insanity.
We accept we were traumatized in childhood and lost the ability to feel. Using the 12 Steps as a program of recovery we regain the ability to feel and remember and become whole human beings who are happy, joyous and free.
In accepting we were powerless as children to “save” our family we are able to release our self-hate and to stop punishing ourselves and others for not being enough.
By accepting and reuniting with the inner child we are no longer threatened by intimacy, by the fear of being engulfed or made invisible.
By acknowledging the reality of family dysfunction we no longer have to act as if nothing were wrong or keep denying that we are still unconsciously reacting to childhood harm and injury.
We stop denying and do something about our post-traumatic dependency on substances, people, places and things to distort and avoid reality.

))

Anyway, an ACOA group is not a fun place.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Reframing: What is your higher power?

Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state

Frame: state change. Causing yourself or another to change their emotional state, aka attitude.
The myth of “IS”
One of the invisible tools the memes use, the memes that keep us trapped and unable to take control of our lives is to spew “is” on us.

OK, that was a long sentence. let me see if I can reword it. The memes freeze us into a life where we have no power. It is in the wording. The freezing power comes from the wording.

We have spoken about the having to, needing to, wanting to, and should… these are a group of tools the memes use to rob us of our own power, and render us puppets.

The tool that renders us powerless to change is the improper use of “is”.

Whenever you feel you need to change, this meme tool is at work.
Whenever you point a blaming finger at yourself, at the world, or at others, this meme tool is at work.
It is under learned helplessness. It is under resignation, cynicism, and unless you learn to recognize it, you’ll fight it… like Don Quixote was fighting the windmills. No chance to win.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state

Reframing… Label of ethnicity or a cultural origin

One of the things that came up in the Muscle Testing Course is ethnicity. ((Ethnicity is “the fact or state of belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural tradition.”))

This article is not political. It won’t even address your fear of different people… different from you. It only talks about this frame or the lack of it, that cost you your own personhood… you’ll see what I mean later in this article.

I teach you how to free yourself up to become all you can become, and raise your vibration. Your political beliefs are of no concern to me. Whether I step on toes in the process… not skin of my back. Being politically incorrect is my job. Because politically correct has reduced us to labels, sheep, barely people at all.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Reframing… Label of ethnicity or a cultural origin

Reframing… She is a person! OMG.

Refraiming, or looking at things in a different context is one of the tools you have available to you when you raise your vibration.

Ultimately, the most accurate description or definition of higher vibration is that the vibration number expresses the height from where you look at events, ideas…

The higher you are the less personal it becomes.
The higher you are the less the desire trap will rob you of being able to see that A is A…
The higher you are the more options you see.
The higher you are the more you can see what bigger thing you can accomplish while you are taking care of things…
And of course the higher you are the more ready you are to look at things through different frames and actually see something different.

Some of these new frames, when you first get to look through them, are dramatic. Upsetting. Revolutionary.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Reframing… She is a person! OMG.

Reframing… She is a person! OMG.

Refraiming, or looking at things in a different context is one of the tools you have available to you when you raise your vibration.

Ultimately, the most accurate description or definition of higher vibration is that the vibration number expresses the height from where you look at events, ideas…

The higher you are the less personal it becomes.
The higher you are the less the desire trap will rob you of being able to see that A is A…
The higher you are the more options you see.
The higher you are the more you can see what bigger thing you can accomplish while you are taking care of things…
And of course the higher you are the more ready you are to look at things through different frames and actually see something different.

Some of these new frames, when you first get to look through them, are dramatic. Upsetting. Revolutionary.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Reframing… She is a person! OMG.

Can you connect to Source through imagining connecting?

I did the first session of the Muscle testing course, version 2 yesterday.

There was a lot of things to unlearn and relearn for the students, things can and do prevent one from being effective in life.

Tons of the memes, everything and its opposite, no clarity.

What is Source. Where is the knowledge coming from when we muscle test for the truth? Is truth stagnant, the same today as it was yesterday? Does anything remain the same as it was yesterday?

The most successful people on earth know that only physical laws, the laws of physics apply here, and you can deal with the rest as appearances. A mirage. Maya. Not solid.
That nothing happens until someone does something… The law of cause and effect.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Can you connect to Source through imagining connecting?

How to access the invisible so you can have more power in your life?

It’s Saturday. The only reason I know it is Saturday because tomorrow I’ll have the first session of Version 2 of the muscle testing course.

And I am afraid. Normal. Anything new, anything threatening with unexpected unknowns creates fear. Normal.

So I stayed in semi-sleep mode an hour longer than my normal getup time… Looking.

I looked at all the relevant invisible elements of my life, to see where I can influence this fear… and how. Not that fear is bad… but I prefer life with less fear.

SOURCE: click to continue reading How to access the invisible so you can have more power in your life?

Are my articles hard to understand?

I have been having a difficult time writing enough about any one topic to finish one article… Meaning I have six articles started, and can’t or won’t finish them.

What’s going on?

I am afraid.

That’s new FEARLESS Sophie, tell me more?

Some of the things that are being shown to me recently are polarizing. Dividing people. Will make some, maybe many people angry.
The truth hurts. And when something hurts, it is natural to go to victim mode, effect mode, and point a blaming finger at someone. At me.
So I have been cowardly, and have been sitting on the fence.

But today I think I’ll overcome the inertia, and say what there is to say.

OK, it’s about vibration, capacities, and what you can get or not get, what you can use, what is going to work for you or not, depending on your numbers. ((When I measure your Starting Point Measurements, I give you a recommendation. It is not cookie cutter… I actually look what would be a step that you can take. Occasionally I say: I don’t recommend anything. That is a bad sign… 😦

SOURCE: click to continue reading Are my articles hard to understand?

How do I tame my fear of the unknown, the difficult, the tasks I need to do that I am ill-suited to do?

One day I’ll have an editor. Or maybe a brilliant assistant. Someone who is good at things I am lousy at.

I have major holes in my brain. It started with my brain development in the womb. I am on the autistic spectrum, an experiment of sorts. Then I had my two massive brain injuries… One in 1969 and one in 1998.

So I was never good at putting things to order. Time order… what needs to get done first and what needs to get done next. Even just thinking about that, the brain cells that would do that work start to hurt. So maybe I should exercise them… hm… that is an idea.

SOURCE: click to continue reading How do I tame my fear of the unknown, the difficult, the tasks I need to do that I am ill-suited to do?

Will you evolve? Is it in the cards for you?

This article is about personal evolution… going from where, how, who you are today to a higher level, a higher organization where you can be, have, do more. ((Personal development covers activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance the quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations… from Wikipedia

As I am browsing the many pages of many self-proclaimed gurus about the topic, what is most striking is this: all think that they are there… up there… And looking from that imaginary height, they claim what the levels are.

That is the problem with imagination. You can only imagine things on your level, inside your paradigm. The higher paradigms cannot be imagined. Bummer, eh?

So you need to trust, and move into the invisible, the unknown, the maybe unfriendly… 😦

Fear is normal. In fact, fear is healthy. If you are not afraid, you live in your imagination… and will wake up with your hand in the chamberpot… as we Jews say.

So what this means is this: you don’t know where you are going. I don’t know where I am going. I am, at best, taking you to where I have been. And then, if I am lucky, walk with you, trembling with hope and fear… with you.

Recommendation: when you see a website that has a graphic that names the levels: leave. They are lying to you. They are taking you on a ride. They have something to sell you.

Here are a few examples. Click on the pictures to view them full size.

))

It’s November 10, and the ground is covered with snow where I live. My hands are cold, I am contemplating putting on my typing gloves: gloves that the tip of the finger is cut off so I can type.

I started to keep my house cold in the winter a few years ago, but went all hogs with it last winter: my thermostat is set to 47 degrees (9 degrees Celsius) day and night, and I have a heating pad under my desk and a heating pad on the wall about two meters from my right shoulder on the wall in my office. I also have a heating pad in the bathroom that I turn on when I plan to take a shower.
Why am I doing this?

SOURCE: click to continue reading Will you evolve? Is it in the cards for you?