Why do you hold onto unproductive relationships?

Some relationships feed us and make us better people and others just drain us. It’s obvious why we maintain the good ones, but why do we hold onto bad friends, lovers, and relatives?

Guilt? Fear of being alone? Thoughts that one day we’ll get something from these people? Afraid of hurting them? Forget it. If an emotional tie is no longer serving you, then it’s no longer serving you.

Think of it this way – relationships are like bonfires – they require constant oxygen and firewood (ie. love and attention.) When we keep a bunch of fires burning because we’re afraid to let them die out, (I’ll call you soon, we really have to get together) it just sucks up our life force. There’s only so much fuel we can give out at one time.

Imagine if you could pour all of your love, compassion and oxygen into the ones that you are absolutely committed to (or would like to be committed to.)

It’s a big risk to let those little fires burn out. But the benefit is that it frees up your energy to devote to building up other fires that do serve you.

As you’re reading this, what person is flashing through your mind? Maybe it’s time to let that fire burn out.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Why do you hold onto unproductive relationships?

Why do you hold onto unproductive relationships?

Some relationships feed us and make us better people and others just drain us. It’s obvious why we maintain the good ones, but why do we hold onto bad friends, lovers, and relatives?

Guilt? Fear of being alone? Thoughts that one day we’ll get something from these people? Afraid of hurting them? Forget it. If an emotional tie is no longer serving you, then it’s no longer serving you.

Think of it this way – relationships are like bonfires – they require constant oxygen and firewood (ie. love and attention.) When we keep a bunch of fires burning because we’re afraid to let them die out, (I’ll call you soon, we really have to get together) it just sucks up our life force. There’s only so much fuel we can give out at one time.

Imagine if you could pour all of your love, compassion and oxygen into the ones that you are absolutely committed to (or would like to be committed to.)

It’s a big risk to let those little fires burn out. But the benefit is that it frees up your energy to devote to building up other fires that do serve you.

As you’re reading this, what person is flashing through your mind? Maybe it’s time to let that fire burn out.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Why do you hold onto unproductive relationships?

Laziness… is it negative?

I want to make sure we are clear on the idea of laziness. Even though the laziness itself doesn’t seem to be so negative, it’s the seed of remaining into the self-alone, which leads to sadness, feelings of worthlessness, anger, jealousy … .

Today, here are some ways you can choose to go outside yourself and inject a little love and effort:

-better the relationship with your spouse, family, friends

-manifest a good intention

-help your family, your community

-think about what you learned today and how you can improve

-fight bad thoughts instead of allowing them to continue

-develop discipline

-get into the gym

-watch what you are putting in your mouth

-pray

-read Zohar

-help another worse off than you

-break a bad habit

Take your pick.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Laziness… is it negative?

Laziness… is it negative?

I want to make sure we are clear on the idea of laziness. Even though the laziness itself doesn’t seem to be so negative, it’s the seed of remaining into the self-alone, which leads to sadness, feelings of worthlessness, anger, jealousy … .

Today, here are some ways you can choose to go outside yourself and inject a little love and effort:

-better the relationship with your spouse, family, friends

-manifest a good intention

-help your family, your community

-think about what you learned today and how you can improve

-fight bad thoughts instead of allowing them to continue

-develop discipline

-get into the gym

-watch what you are putting in your mouth

-pray

-read Zohar

-help another worse off than you

-break a bad habit

Take your pick.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Laziness… is it negative?

The Right Action… When you see it, do you jump into it?

What we’re talking about in these dailies is whenever we see an opportunity to do the right thing, the right restriction, the right giving, the right sharing, the right treatment for our bodies, the right discipline, we don’t want to let any thought and space come between the opportunity and the action. Just jump and do it. Grab the opportunity.

The spiritual law is that as you train yourself to jump right away into action, without giving any space for doubts or procrastination, gradually it becomes second nature and we love to do it. We look forward to emotional risks the way we look forward to going to a movie. If we’re late for a movie, we hurry into the theater, running toward the movie, right?

Keep running towards the biggest confrontations and fears and challenges in your life. Do it over and over and over and over until it becomes part of you. Rush into action!

What’s your risk today?

SOURCE: click to continue reading The Right Action… When you see it, do you jump into it?

Lazy? Or just plain unmotivated?

One holiday, a few years back, a bunch of students were up late (about 2 o’clock in the morning) celebrating. Some were getting tired and started to sit down. My father and teacher, Rav Berg, spoke to us for a second,

“Think about people who drive or fly many hours to go to Las Vegas. They arrive in Las Vegas very tired, but when they’re in front of the table they don’t think for a second about being tired until it’s morning. If they can be so energetic until the next morning, and have so much power when it’s total stimulation for the self-alone, can’t we bring ourselves to that state with such enormous connection with the Light?”

Yesterday I spoke about laziness and the Rav’s point is our laziness is conditional. When it comes to doing things for the self-alone, we’re super-motivated. But when it comes to things that require stretching outside of ourselves, there’s going to be resistance.

Today, act with passion, energy, and enthusiasm. This is how you break the laziness! All the different reasons we have for not taking risks are just intellectual tricks our dark side plays on us. Don’t accept those thoughts – push back!

SOURCE: click to continue reading Lazy? Or just plain unmotivated?

Are YOU Lazy? Procrastinate?

“I’m not a risky person. I would love to be, but I am just too lazy!” (August 27th response from reader)

You are not lazy. Your body is, yes, but not YOU. In his book ‘Path of the Just,’ kabbalist Rav Luzzatto explains the body has an inner-gravity that keeps everything down and as is. Reaching out, being active and spontaneous, doing something new .. these require so much effort because the body wants to keep things to itself.

He warns us to be ever-vigilant in our battle against the downward pull of our bodily thoughts (I’ll do it later, I can’t, I don’t want to be bothered, It’s not going to work anyway…)

Is our soul lazy? Of course not, because being lazy is being bounded and totally controlled by time, space and motion. Our soul wants to and can achieve all our dreams and desires, but it needs to be liberated from the heaviness of the body.

The only way to float against gravity is to act. Like they say on those late-night TV commercials: ACT NOW … ..OFFER EXPIRES.

Today, be impulsive. I know that word has a negative connotation but I’d like to use it anyway. For me it implies listening to your gut, jumping into situations to jump start your self, and leaving no space for thinking, rationalizing, or procrastination.

You know, just do it.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Are YOU Lazy? Procrastinate?

Are YOU Lazy? Procrastinate?

“I’m not a risky person. I would love to be, but I am just too lazy!” (August 27th response from reader)

You are not lazy. Your body is, yes, but not YOU. In his book ‘Path of the Just,’ kabbalist Rav Luzzatto explains the body has an inner-gravity that keeps everything down and as is. Reaching out, being active and spontaneous, doing something new .. these require so much effort because the body wants to keep things to itself.

He warns us to be ever-vigilant in our battle against the downward pull of our bodily thoughts (I’ll do it later, I can’t, I don’t want to be bothered, It’s not going to work anyway…)

Is our soul lazy? Of course not, because being lazy is being bounded and totally controlled by time, space and motion. Our soul wants to and can achieve all our dreams and desires, but it needs to be liberated from the heaviness of the body.

The only way to float against gravity is to act. Like they say on those late-night TV commercials: ACT NOW … ..OFFER EXPIRES.

Today, be impulsive. I know that word has a negative connotation but I’d like to use it anyway. For me it implies listening to your gut, jumping into situations to jump start your self, and leaving no space for thinking, rationalizing, or procrastination.

You know, just do it.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Are YOU Lazy? Procrastinate?

Tell The Truth… Even if it hurts

It’s difficult to be lovingly truthful with others. When an opportunity arises to confront someone with the truth, we lock up; our hearts race and our adrenaline pumps at the mere prospect of speaking our mind.

It’s always easier to tell people what they want to hear. It’s more comfortable to agree with someone even if we don’t agree in our hearts.

Fear of speaking the truth is a stumbling block we face in our desire to experience fulfilling, honest and loving relationships. When we hold something back, that something separates us from the other person.

Today, be courageous. Open your mouth when you need to tell the truth.

SOURCE: click to continue reading Tell The Truth… Even if it hurts

What do people think about you?

One of the best things for our spiritual growth – and also one of our biggest fears – is hearing what other people think about us.

When the Holy Temple still stood in Jerusalem, it is said that inside was a mirror one could look in to see the state of one’s soul. When the temple [and mirror] were destroyed, the Zohar teaches that people became the mirror for us.

As we take stock of our lives in this month, preparing our wish lists for the new year, we want to be facing those truths which only others can show us. Don’t do it out of weakness, do it out of strength, knowing that the moment you hold your darkness up to the Light, it burns!

Today, feel the burn of whatever emotion comes up as you ask at least (3) people what they think you need to work on the most. If there was one thing you needed to change for next year, what would it be? And maybe tell them about this risk exercise you’re doing. See where that takes you.

SOURCE: click to continue reading What do people think about you?