I have been awakened by the same “dream” again and again: you have an idea, you plant it, nurture it, and see what comes out of it: a bug or a plant? If it is a plant: is that plant worth watering more? Is it going to bear fruit?
And that process… idea, plant, nurture, evaluate… again and again…
So this morning I just had enough of it. I got up early just to shut the guidance up. Because I didn’t know what to do with it.
Since getting up, I have taken care of quite a few things… and now I am sitting in front of my computer, scared from the tropical downpour and the lightening that is hitting too close to home.
But suddenly I get an insight: I live as if there were two people in me: one who does what I say to do, and the other who doesn’t know that… and is utterly unhappy with me for not doing what I teach.
No voices that I can detect. It is more shoving and pulling and tugging and tossing me about.