This article shows the state of official science for emotional intelligence.
Psychologists are not interested in the groundbreaking work developed in the books Feelings and Words…
Although when you can already recognize your feelings, their inner dynamics, what they want you to do, what trap you my have stepped, unwittingly, the advice below is quite good.
Until then I don’t think it’s useful… Or may not be useful.
Even though emotional intelligence is really important to live a good life, to have good relationships, to get things done, to be well… for all of life.
OK, here is the article from Wikihow
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to tap into your emotions and use them to make your life better. Being in touch with your feelings allows you to manage stress levels and communicate effectively with other people, two skills that enhance your life both personally and professionally. Unlike IQ, which remains constant throughout your life, EQ can be developed and honed over time. See Step 1 to learn how to develop your emotional intelligence using techniques you can try right away.
Tapping Into Your Emotions aka Know what you are feeling
Note your emotional reactions to events throughout the day. It’s easy to put your feelings about what you experience throughout the day on the back burner. But taking time to acknowledge how you feel about experiences is essential to improving your EQ. If you ignore your feelings, you’re ignoring important information that has a big effect on your mindset and the way you behave. Start paying more attention to your feelings and connecting them to experiences.
For example, say you’re at work and you get cut off during a meeting. What emotions arise when this happens? On the other hand, how do you feel when you get praised for good work? Getting into the practice of naming your emotions as sadness, embarrassment, joy, contentment, or any other number of feelings will start raising your EQ right away.
Get in the habit of tapping into your emotions at certain times every day. What are your first emotions upon waking? Your last before you fall asleep?
Pay attention to your body. Instead of ignoring the physical manifestations of your emotions, start listening to them. Our minds and bodies are not separate; they affect each other quite deeply. You can raise your EQ by learning how to read physical cues that clue you in to what emotions you’re feeling. For example:
Stress might feel like a knot in your stomach, tight chest, or quick breathing.
Sadness might feel like waking up with slow, heavy limbs.
Joy, pleasure or nervousness might feel like butterflies in your stomach, a racing heart or increased energy.
Observe how your emotions and behavior are connected. When you feel strong emotions, how do you react? Tune into your gut responses to situations you face every day, instead of just reacting without any reflection. The more you understand what spurs your